![]() For if the hero and heroine are to have their happy-ever-after, they must always be redeemable. By doing so, the author has the opportunity to create a sense of misunderstanding between the characters, and to develop and play out those emotions of betrayal which otherwise would be too dark for redemption. However, from time to time an author lends a greater bias to either the hero or heroine’s account of events. As editors, we’re always striving for that balance – even if one voice is given greater page space, the significance of the other must always be felt equal. The hero’s perspective is just as important in relating the progression of emotions as the heroine’s, and vice versa. In life, there are two sides to every story – but crucially, there are two sides to every love story. It can be persuasive, it can be forceful…but it will always lack the credibility and power available if both sides are presented. Whether it is truth or love, if it’s one-sided, it can never represent the entirety. A slightly less glamorous and utterly mortifying Marilyn Monroe moment ensued in the playground – and let me tell you, I learnt my lesson.įor, doing something half-heartedly is never as effective as the whole. It couldn’t have been the dress, so the knickers had to go. At four years old, I had deemed myself quite capable of getting myself ready for school…and one morning, with too little time and too much pride to ask for help, I decided to sacrifice a garment of clothing. My mother was absolutely devastated – my hair, you see, grew rather slowly and I had spent most of my life mistaken for a little boy.Ī few weeks later, there was the ‘knicker-less’ incident. Always forbidden, nothing says power like a pair of scissors to a little girl…and so, I proceeded to cut off all the hair I could see. PS – I enjoyed my session with this man so much that I’m going to test a program just for our men…to help make our relationships better….stay tuned.In my fourth year of life, I learnt a very valuable lesson: not to do anything by half.įirst, there was the ‘hair-dressing incident’, where I stealthily managed to get hold of a rather enormous pair of scissors. And they’re both right.Īs always, sent with much love and light – Because no two people on the planet view the world through the same lens. Am I willing to let go of the need to be right if it means it will save the relationship?Īs they say, there are two sides to every story – always has been, always will be.Not judging our partners as either right or wrong it’s just a preference and it may differ from our own.I lost my ability to judge something as right or wrong a long time ago, because anything I would judge would only be an interpretation through my lens, not yours. How would the relationship change if you both gave each other what the other was asking for, rather than pushing against it and trying to convince the other person they shouldn’t want that thing they want? We each – as adults – get to want what we want. How would your situation change if they were both right? …If what you both wanted in the relationship was completely valid? Because it is. Now think about something you and your spouse are disagreeing about… There are two sides to every story and they’re both “right,” because their judgement of what is “right” is based on each of their own lens’. We’re all essentially walking around viewing and experiencing the world through our own lens and assuming that our way of thinking is “correct,”…(which by the way, often times makes everyone else wrong…) Our spouse’s lens isn’t “wrong,” it’s just different. Except that our spouse has his or her own lens that is completely different than our own. Everything we see and experience gets interpreted (and distorted) through that lens.Īnd because each one of us only have this one lens, we assume that the way we’re seeing and interpreting a difficult situation is “correct.” We don’t understand how our spouses could be seeing it differently. Here’s what I mean:Īssume everyone is wearing a pair of eye glasses and embedded in those glasses is every past experience, every failure and every lesson, every belief, every judgement, every fear and insecurity, spoken and unspoken. That’s because all of us – everyone – can only see and experience the world through our own lens. ![]() And they’re at the crossroads of trying to figure out if they can be what each other needs or if it’s time to call it quits.Īs they say, there are two sides to every story. He was open, honest, introspective and sincere. This week I had the experience of being able to speak with the husband of one of my long-term clients. “You can only see what you believe, nothing else is possible.” Byron Katie
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